The Comparison Trap | Kylen Perry

Porch, how are we doing? Are we doing okay tonight? It's great to see you. It's great to be back. We are in The Relationship Series. If this is your first time being a part of the series, you're not too late. We have a little bit more for you. Dallas, you look good. I'm grateful you're in the room, but everybody who's tuning in online…

We love that God is doing something special here in our city, but he's doing something special all over the globe. Literally. The stories we get are crazy. So, we're grateful that y'all would trust us with your evening and you would be a part of what God is doing here. Special shout-out to Porch.Live Dayton, Wheaton, and Des Moines.

All right. To start things off, I want to play a little game with all of you. Does that sound okay? Everybody stand up and look around at the people standing to your left and your right. We're going to be doing a lot of this in this game, so it's good to prove to one another that you are actually capable of standing up. Now everybody sit down for me. You just proved you could do it, and now I'm going to put you to the test.

Oh man. This is going to be exposing for some of you. I want you to stand up if you think Crocs are actually an acceptable form of fashion. That's bold. You're bold. All right. Sit down for me. You can judge and appeal to your friends later on. I want you to stand up if you actually believe cats are better companions than dogs. Loud and proud down here in the front.

All right. It's getting a little hotter in here. We'll keep turning up the heat. I want you to stand up if you own an Android instead of an iPhone. The few and the proud. There they are. You know, I'll give it to my Android users. We always know our Android users because they simply make themselves known. They think they have something to brag about, but we all know that's not the case.

I want you to stand up if you use Apple Music instead of Spotify. Oh my gosh. Okay. For my Apple Music users, I have to ask… Why? It is inferior to Spotify. It absolutely is. All right. Stand up if you prefer working from the office than working at home. I'm already standing up, but I'm trying to get up as much as I can, because I love being in the office. I love being around people.

All right. Grab a seat. Last one. This one is really big, so I need y'all to lean in and really engage with this one, because we're going to turn a corner into something really significant here. I need you to stand up if you're actually single and ready to mingle. No, no, no. I'm just kidding. Don't do that. Don't do that. That is one opportunity here at The Porch, but we are about other more significant things than that.

Okay. Here's why we did that. We just learned a lot about one another. Right? You just learned where your peers stand on some pretty important subjects. You were able to size them up, and you were able to stack yourself in comparison to them. While this was super lighthearted and a really good time, here's the thing. Oftentimes, comparison is anything but lighthearted and fun.

It's interesting. If you go and read the research, studies show that roughly 10 percent of normal human thought is comparative in nature, which, if you look at the average human life, which would be roughly 77 years, 10 percent of 77 years equates to 5 years of total life. That means five years of your life you are spending comparing yourself to other people.

I don't know how that sits with you. That's alarming to me. The thought that I'm giving up five years of myself to comparing me to some of you jokers? No, thank you. You know I'm just kidding. This is the way we work, though. Hardwired under the heart of humanity is this need to stack up against other people, to measure ourselves against one another, and the world knows it. The world knows this is a meaningful way in which we relate to one another.

We live in a society that not only accepts comparison as a way in which we interact but actually has commodified, commercialized comparison through celebrity culture that's telling you how you're supposed to live your life or self-help books that are trying to advocate your personal development or a specially manicured social media feed so you can see who it is you should be stacking yourself alongside. Our world knows this is something that is meaningful for us.

Truthfully, we don't need to look at the culture to realize that comparison is a problem; we just need to look at ourselves. Some of you can relate to the fact that that guy at the office got the promotion even though he wasn't even trying for it. You were the one who was staying late, burning the midnight oil, making sure the candle wick was lit at both ends, and giving as much as possible, because you really wanted to get into that position, to achieve that promotion.

Others of you have a friend who was totally content in their season of singleness. "Man, I'm fully and undividedly devoted to this season of my life and chasing after the Lord, yet for whatever reason, God just set this dude in my life, and now we're dating," despite the fact that you have been doing all of the same things and want so badly to be in a relationship as well.

Others of you know that group went and had an amazing weekend together because you weren't with them. You were sitting at home and saw it on Instagram. Others of you have tried so hard to get recognition for your good works, whether it's at the office or amongst your family or amongst your peers, yet no one recognizes you despite you working so hard. They recognize other people.

Can we level with ourselves for a second and acknowledge the fact that comparison is a problem? It causes us to look at the success of someone else and measure ourselves against it, and in the process of measuring ourselves against it, we often find we're embroiled with our failure. We see a deep sense of inadequacy, so we find that we're angry or we're anxious or we're self-loathing or we have a lowered self-esteem. We become jealous. We're bitter. We're insecure. We have a sense of hate for someone else.

Comparison is a dangerous thing. There's no question about it, and there's no question that we're all engaging with it. It's a part of the regular human experience. So what do we do with it? If we're going to come in contact with it, and not even just tomorrow but before the night is over, what do we do with it? How do we navigate the waters of comparison in a way that is riddled with wisdom and is informed by the Word?

That's what I want to do with us tonight. That's what I want to walk us through over the course of our evening together. I want to show you how you can overcome comparison in your life. The place we're going to do it is in the gospel of John. John, chapter 21, is where we're going to be. That's the very last chapter in the gospel of John.

We've been working through The Relationship Series here at The Porch, and what we've been doing over the course of this series is looking at different relational categories. We've been looking at dating, marriage, friendship, working relationships, and estranged relationships. We've been looking at all manner of different relationships we find in our lives. This evening, we decided we didn't just want to look at a relational category; we wanted to look at a way in which we often relate to each other.

Comparison really is universal. It makes its way into every single category we have talked about throughout this series. The reason we're in John, chapter 21, is we see a story of comparison where Jesus interacts with a guy who really should know better. What we find in chapter 21 of John's gospel is that Jesus has died for the sins of the world and has risen from the grave, and he's in that intermittent period before he ascends to the right hand of the Father where he's sort of working a 40-day master class with the disciples.

He's showing them, "Hey, boys. This is how we're going to save the world. Here's your mission. Get out there and do it." He's working them through this 40-day class, and he's engaging specifically in our story tonight with a guy by the name of Peter. By the time we come to this story we see with Peter, Peter has already been restored into right relationship with Jesus.

If you don't know Peter's story, he was one of Jesus' inner three, one of his best friends, one of his guys, and yet when the going got tough, Peter got going. He denied Jesus three times at the point of his arrest. He said he had nothing to do with the man, and then he rebelled and was ostracized from the disciples.

Jesus comes to him in chapter 21 and restores him to relationship. Peter wasn't just riding the bench; he was off the team, yet Jesus comes to him and is like, "Hey, man. I've got your uniform. It's clean pressed. It's ready for you. Got a new role. Got a new mission. Let's get back in the game together." So, that's where we find ourselves here in our story.

This is just an aside, but you need to know Peter, in this moment, has just received a massive dispensing of God's grace in his life, and it has brought him closer to God than he was before. You see, your failures will bring you closer to Jesus than your successes ever will. Some of you just need to know that. That's not even a part of the lesson. That's for free. Yet it's important to know that Peter has just received so much grace as we come to verse 18.

"'Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were young, you used to dress yourself and walk wherever you wanted, but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will dress you and carry you where you do not want to go.' (This he said to show by what kind of death he was to glorify God.) And after saying this he said to him, 'Follow me.'

Peter turned and saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following them, the one who also had leaned back against him during the supper and had said, 'Lord, who is it that is going to betray you?'" That disciple's name is John. "When Peter saw him, he said to Jesus, 'Lord, what about this man?' Jesus said to him, 'If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!'"

Jesus has just reinstated Peter. He has confirmed his life's purpose. He has reminded him, "Hey, man. You're not only going to be a part of the church; you're going to be a massive player in leading the church." Then he takes a hard left into prophesying his martyrdom and telling him, "Hey, man. You're going to die," which is probably not great conversational etiquette, yet Jesus just wants to level with him. He wants to tell him, "Hey, you're going to die."

But he not only tells him he's going to die; he tells him how he's going to die. And it's not purposeless. We may read that and think, "Golly, man! Did Jesus have no social tact, no awareness whatsoever?" I promise he did, because he has a purpose in speaking to Peter about his own crucifixion.

He's prophesying, "Hey, you're going to one day stretch out your arms, and they will clothe you themselves. They will lead you where you do not want to go. You will be crucified as I myself have been crucified." Jesus called the shot. In AD 64, Peter was crucified. History shows that he was crucified upside down because he didn't think himself worthy to be crucified in the same manner as his King.

What we find in this story is it rattles Peter a little bit, as it would any of us. If you learned that you were going to die and it was going to be painful, it would probably induce some fear. It would probably lead you to worry and wonder, "God, what are you doing in my life? I just got reconciled with you. We're on a good page together again. What are you saying that I'm going to go to my death?"

Jesus has purpose in it, because he wants Peter to know, "Hey, I am calling you to something amazing. I have great purpose for your life, and great purpose requires great faith, but before you can be filled with great faith, I need to empty you of your fear first." That's why he evokes his fear. This is what Jesus will do. He will point out the things in our lives we fear because he knows comparison feeds on fear.

1. Comparison feeds on fear. It's unique that way. In every other area of life, we run from what we fear, but when it comes to comparison, we run to what we fear. Think about it like this. If you fear you're not skinny enough, then you need to watch what you eat. If you fear you're not successful enough, then you need to work harder. If you feel that you're not datable enough, then you need to lower your standards. If you fear you're not pretty enough, then maybe you need to show some skin. Do you see it?

When it comes to comparison, we follow what we fear, which is why it's anything but coincidental that right here, in the face of Peter's fear, Jesus tells him, "Hey, don't follow your fear. You follow me. You come with me. You don't focus on that. I know that's scary. I know that causes you concern. Don't focus on that. You focus on me. Keep your eyes right here. You follow after me, Peter, because the one you're focusing on is the one you're going to follow after."

Growing up, my family would go snow skiing, and we would always play "Follow the leader." It has been fun. My nieces and nephews are growing up now, and we take them out there and do the same thing. The object of the game is whoever is in the lead, you follow them, as the name "Follow the leader" implies. You do whatever they do. If they make a turn, you make a turn. If they move through trees, you move with them. If they decide to ski backward, then you'd better turn around and ski backward as well. If they're pulling 360s, you need to spin some 360s yourself.

You follow them however and wherever they go, because that's how you win. The secret to winning "Follow the leader" is to keep your eyes dead set on the leader in front of you and faithfully follow them wherever they lead. We're supposed to do the same thing with Jesus. The words follow me, if you read through the Gospels, appear 13 different times, and every time someone hears the words follow me, there's a common theme associated to that command.

You're going to have an immediate detachment from self-interest. You're going to set aside your self-interest in pursuit of something different. People gave up their livelihoods. They left their homes. They quit their jobs. They abandoned all comfort to follow Jesus, which sounds really crazy. Can any of us agree with that?

Golly! I don't know that any invitation in life is going to be worthy of that, of me abandoning everything I've worked hard for, all the family I dearly love, all the comfort I so enjoy having. I don't know that anything is going to be worth giving that up. This is what's crazy. When you follow Jesus, the reward of gaining him is far greater than anything you give up.

So, Jesus is calling Peter. "Hey, I'm going to give you so much more than you will ever be able to gain on your own, but it's going to require you to follow after me. You're going to have to detach yourself from some things you care about." Jesus says the same idea in Matthew 16. "Then Jesus told his disciples, 'If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.'"

What does comparison say instead? If the voice of truth is saying, "If you lose your life, you'll find it," comparison's voice is going to say, "Hey, you're actually losing life, so you don't need to give more life away; you need to get out there and find some life. You need to hustle after it. You're getting left behind. You'd better rise and grind, baby. You'd better get to work, because you have some deficiencies in your life, and you're the one who's going to have to make up the difference." This is what comparison would say to you.

Like, "You need to accumulate some followers on Instagram. You need to get some more matches on Hinge. You need to get some more travel scheduled on the calendar. You need to get another promotion at work. Whatever it is, you need to accumulate for yourself, because you're deficient as you are. You're not enough as is, so I guess we'd better find a way to make you into that much more of what you think you need to be." That's what comparison would say.

What's crazy about comparison is yes, it's a fear-based response, but it's a really bad fear-based response. A good fear-based response leads you away from danger, but that's not what comparison does. Comparison doesn't lead you away from danger; it puts you in danger. It's really bad advice. It's like me saying, "There are few vitamins in cookies; therefore, you should eat many of them." That's horrible advice. I'm promising you a path to health, yet what's going to happen is unhealth. That's how this works. That's what comparison's promise looks like.

So, what do we do when comparison comes creeping? We follow Jesus. It's that simple. We follow him. We identify where we feel secure and, rather than make up the difference on our own, we look at the one who made up the difference on his own. That's what we do. We follow that man. We don't follow after any other.

We stop being fearful. We start being faithful…faithful with where God has me, faithful with what God is calling me to do, faithful to speak what God is asking me to say, faithful to do whatever it is he wants me to do with my life, because if my life is hidden with Christ, then my life is no longer my own. It's Christ who lives in me. He gets to do with me what he wants. He gets to lead me where he wishes. I will be faithful to follow that man. You see, we have to make sure we're following the right person.

So, Porch, who are you following right now? Here's the thing. I felt this as I was preparing to teach this message. There's nothing about comparison I can tell you that you may not already well know. This is an old idea. Sure, I want to present it in a new way, yet my goal is just to take this concept of comparison, put it back on the table for us to consider, and call you to take responsibility where it has run amok in your life. That's what I want to do tonight. That's what I'm striving after.

If you're following after the wrong person, then the responsibility is yours to change what's in your power to change. So, what does that look like? Well, for some of you, it means you need to go into your social media and consider, "Who is it I'm following? Let me remove anyone I'm following who I don't meaningfully interact with on a regular basis, because I'm not following them because they're a friend; I'm following them because they're a goal, and my goal is the upward call of Christ. Let me get rid of that."

For others of us, it means slashing our shopping budget in half. We need to quit "liking to know it" and choose instead to like to know him. Others of us need to ask the question, as we consider the photos we post on Instagram, "Why am I posting whatever I'm posting?" You know, you don't need to coincidentally place your engagement ring in every single photo. You don't need to carefully craft your picture so that that name brand is included so everybody else can see you can actually associate with that sort of wealth.

For some of us, it's not social media or public perception at all. It's private perception. Rather than worrying about the reel that's going across your social media, you need to think about the reel that's playing through your mind. You need to consider the fact that you don't need to keep replaying the conversation you had with that person over and over and over again. You can let those things go. You can move on even though you think you said something stupid or sounded really dumb or you wish you could take that thing back because "Now what are they going to think of me? I'm never going to be able to associate with those specific people."

Some of us here are long-time believers. The topic of comparison comes up, and we think, "I'm good, man. I already follow Jesus. That command? I'm already registering with that." If you're here and you think you're safe from comparison because you already follow Jesus, let me just level with you. If Peter is not safe, you're not safe either. We see it as we keep going. It says in verse 20, "Peter turned and saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following them, the one who also had leaned back against him during the supper and had said, 'Lord, who is it that is going to betray you?' When Peter saw him, he said to Jesus, 'Lord, what about this man?'"

Not even one verse after Jesus looks at Peter and is like, "Follow me," Peter is like, "But what about that guy?" We're not even a verse away. If you know Peter at all, this is true to form. This is so on brand. He turns around, and what it means is his eyes stop focusing on following Jesus and start focusing on following someone else. It sets him up for a world of hurt. It puts him in a position where he's less interested in what Jesus is calling him to do and more interested in what Jesus is calling John to do, and it jeopardizes their friendship.

2. Comparison turns friends into rivals. These two guys are good friends. I already said they were a part of Jesus' inner circle, and they had some really meaningful moments in life together. If you track what Peter and John are explicitly a part of, what you see is these are the guys… I mean, they fished together, and then they got called into Jesus' ministry together.

They saw Jesus, the man, become Jesus, the Son of God, as he transfigured before them. Then they made their way to the garden of Gethsemane, and they prayed with Jesus, but that happened after they had gone together to prepare the Passover feast they would share with Jesus. Then, after Jesus died and rose, they raced each other to the tomb. Then we find them here in this moment right now where they're engaging with the resurrected Lord.

If you keep tracking their story, they have more moments like this. It just keeps going on and on and on and on. This is the stuff friendships are made of. They're a part of God's work in the world. They're making a difference alongside each other, yet in the face of comparison, all of it is jeopardized. All of it is risked in a moment. Comparison stands to do the same thing to you and your friends.

It is laughable how quickly in this story Peter goes from following Jesus to following someone else, yet this happens to us too. Rather than following God's plan for our own lives, we start following God's plan for other people's lives. Have you ever been a social media sleuth? You know somebody is dating that guy or that girl or they're associated with that specific person whom you would love to be associated with. They're so famous. They're so popular. They have so much influence. "How did they get connected to that person?"

Or you actually saw that person was involved with that group of people. "And did you see the concert they went to? That looked amazing." Or "Man, they took that trip all together? That was awesome." If you've ever been that person and you were able to social media stalk your way into someone else's life, you have just proven my point that you are far more interested in living someone else's life than living the life God has given you.

We are all prone to this, especially in our digital age. Oftentimes, we're so much more interested in what God is doing somewhere else than what he is doing right here at hand. Why? Why is that the case? Well, according to psychology and the social comparison theory, it's one of two reasons. Very simply, we compare ourselves either because we want to feel better about ourselves or because we want to motivate ourselves to improve.

If I could just boil that down for you, it simply means we look at other people's lives because we're not happy with our own. All comparison with others is rooted in a discontentment with myself. That's where comparison comes from. Like, you don't actually care if that guy gets the job; you just care that you didn't get the job. You actually don't care that she looks the way she does; you just care that you don't look the way she does.

You actually don't care that they took that trip; you just care that you didn't get to take that trip. So, here's the thing, Porch. Lean in with me on this. Your issue is not with them; your issue is with him. So, if you have a complaint, you need to take it with the big guy. You have to process it with God Almighty, because your life is your life because it's the life he wants you to live.

Here's the danger of comparison. If we don't take it up with him, if we don't deal with God, then we will deal with others, and we will take the friends in our lives and turn them into rivals. That's why James says in chapter 4, "You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask."

I love that he puts that on the end. It feels like a weird inclusion to the back end of that verse. "You do not have, because you do not ask." What's he saying? He's like, "Hey, all the fighting, all the quarreling, all the anger and frustration you feel toward each other are products of you not talking to him about it. That's where it comes from. You're talking amongst yourselves when in reality you should be talking to him. You don't have because you don't ask, because you haven't gotten honest with the Lord."

It's alarming. We will fight others and tear them down just because we don't have what they do. That's the nature of coveting. What's coveting? Coveting is fully grown comparison. That's what comparison grows up to when it gets big, kids. It turns into coveting. What happens in a coveting type of relationship is I not only want what you have; I resent you for having it. I hate you for having it.

We see this everywhere. Just look at the news right now. Political candidates are taking cheap shots and low blows. Scroll through Twitter, and you'll see athletes ripping each other apart. You can go and read the comments section, and you'll find trolls abound everywhere. We become a hater, which by definition, according to hip-hop historians, is ascribed to someone who's jealous of someone else. That's what it means. Comparison turns friends into rivals. It's turning Peter against John, and it more than likely has turned some of you against your own.

So, what do we do when that happens? Well, think about the instructions Jesus gives Peter right before we get to this section. Again, we didn't read it, but he looks at him, and as he's restoring him, he asks, "Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me?" He asks him three times, and every time he asks, Peter says, "You know I do," and Jesus' response is, "Then feed my sheep." "Do you love me? Then feed my sheep." What does that mean? "Love my people. Serve my people. Help my people."

It's odd for a shepherd to see a sheep that's struggling and choose to revel in their misery. That's a weird thing. It's strange for a shepherd to see a sheep thriving and hate them for the green grass they eat off of. That is odd. That doesn't make any sense. To the watching world, it is odd when the people of God who claim to love their Lord do not love one another. It's strange. It's weird. It's odd, because it's not what we've been called to. We're supposed to love one another.

Romans 12 says it like this. "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all." Do what's honorable. That's the mark of a true Christian: you do what's honorable.

So, when someone achieves something significant, it is not honorable to hate them for their achievement, to wish ill behind their back because they found themselves in some sort of favor that they may not have sought after on their own. It's odd. That's not honorable; that's jealous. If you get upset because someone gets ahead, that's not honorable either; that's jealousy. If you delight in the misfortune of someone else, that's not honorable; that's jealousy, and it looks weird on God's people.

We are called to celebrate with those who celebrate. We rejoice with those who rejoice. We hurt with those who hurt. We weep with those who weep. That is our response to one another. We serve each other like that. I remember in my sophomore year I made the conscious decision… It was a defining moment where I made the call that I was going to be less worried about whether or not people loved me and be far more concerned with whether or not I loved them.

Do you know what happened? Things started changing for me. My confidence grew. My friends started to increase. I started to get access into things I had not had access into before. I started to have fun that I wasn't a part of previously. I started to find myself enjoying the kind of life I wished I had enjoyed before. Why? Was it because I gamed the system? "I know how this works. I need to give them a little bit so they'll give me a little bit back. It's quid pro quo, this for that."

No, that's not what I was doing. I just started caring for people. Listen. This is not an example of my perfection. "Follow me as I follow…" That's not what I'm doing. I am just telling you, as your care for others goes up, your comparison to others will go down. If you start thinking about how you can serve others, you'll stop worrying about whether or not you're getting served.

If you start worrying about whether or not others feel enjoyed, you'll stop worrying about whether or not you are enjoyable, because you feed sheep just as Jesus commanded Peter. Loving others liberates us from comparing to others. It saves our friends from becoming our rivals. That's not all. Our third point is in these final few verses. Look at verse 21 with me.

"When Peter saw him, he said to Jesus, 'Lord, what about this man?' Jesus said to him, 'If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!' So the saying spread abroad among the brothers that this disciple was not to die; yet Jesus did not say to him that he was not to die, but, 'If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you?'"

3. Comparison will rob you of joy. You've heard this before. You're a smart bunch. You know. "Comparison is the thief of all joy." The reality is the Bible would agree with that sentiment. While it's subtle in this text, it's nonetheless true that so long as Peter is trapped in comparison, he will never experience the kind of joy he longs for. Why is that? Because joy is found in one place and one place alone, and that is with the person of Jesus.

If I am following after someone else, then I am no longer following after Christ, which means I'm no longer following after my joy. I will not find joy anywhere else. You know this. Look at your own life. If you trace those behaviors where you seem to find some sense of sensory satisfaction, a momentary pleasure and delight, it always fades, it always abates, and you always have to return. You know it to be true. With Christ that's not the case.

So, Jesus is looking at Peter, and he's like, "Don't worry about him. Follow me." It's easy to read this and think, "Man, Jesus is pretty irritated." That's how I read it. Did you all read it that way? Like, "Man, Jesus is really annoyed with Peter." Like, he's the kid who won't take out the trash and has to be told over and over and over again. "How many times do I have to tell you, Peter? Come on, man, Get on board with what I'm trying to do here."

Listen. I don't know if Jesus is irritated or isn't irritated, but what I do know is Jesus is full of compassion, and that's what we should read into this text. As he looks at Peter, he says, "Hey, why are you worried about my plans for his life? I have plans for yours. Why are you worried about what I'm doing with John? I'm going to do something with you. Don't worry about my purposes for him. Peter, I have purposes for your life. I'm doing something significant. I want to take you somewhere special. I'm going to make something great of my glory through your life. Trust me. Walk with me. Follow me."

He's saying the same thing to some of us here. Some of us are so ensnared to comparison, yet where comparison's voice wants to lead you astray, compassion's voice is saying, "Come here where joy and delight and fullness of life are found. It's with me, so walk with me." Jesus doesn't want Peter to be so mesmerized with John's life that he misses his own, and he doesn't want us to miss ours either.

Here's the crazy thing about comparison. When we're comparing ourselves to someone else, when we're observing their life, yes, we are not truly able to live our own, but where we wish to have what they have, we miss what God has already given. I promise the gifts of God in your life are better than you think. They're deeper than you've already delved to find. They are richer than you dare dream they may be. He's that good. He really, truly is. Call his bluff and see if he won't surprise you. He's telling you, "Come with me. I'm where joy is found."

Think about The Greatest Showman. The entire movie is about the pursuit of one P.T. Barnum who desperately wants to be associated with a people he is not naturally associated with. He wants to be a part of the upper class, the ruling elite, the socialites. "I want to be up there." So what does he do? He lives his entire life to get to that end.

What you find…spoiler alert…is he achieves that end and there's no joy there. None. He loses all joy. This guy was bursting with life, and then you see he finds himself in the halls of power and he's miserable. His family is disheveled. His life is falling apart, because he wasn't living the life God gave him; he was living someone else's life.

What you find at the end of the movie is after he hits rock bottom and everything is stripped away from him, the people God had given him originally were still there with him and his joy returned because he was back to living the way God wanted him to. This is the invitation on the table for you. Don't fall prey to comparison. Instead, walk with Jesus.

You see, to be ensnared by comparison is to be enslaved to dissatisfaction. Comparison is always discouraging because someone inevitably ends up on bottom, but when we stop focusing on what we don't have and start focusing on what we do have…namely, that we have Jesus…we find all the joy we've been looking for.

Psalm 16:11 says, "You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand [where Christ Jesus sits] are pleasures forevermore." Psalm 107:9: "For he satisfies the longing soul…" Do you have a longing soul? He'll satisfy it. "…and the hungry soul he fills with good things." Psalm 63:5-6: "My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips, when I remember you upon my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night…"

Friends, we have every reason to be grateful because this is true. Listen to me. I know some of you are here tonight, and you're desperately trying to hold fast to this truth. You know "My response as I walk with God is I should be grateful, but it's so hard given what I have. It feels like I'm so unseen, I'm so unheard. I feel lost and alone. I know I'm supposed to be grateful. I should rejoice, yet knowing full well that's what I should be, I feel like a fraud. I feel like a fake. I feel like a hypocrite."

Can I just encourage you if that's you here in the room? Gratitude is a state of being more than a state of feeling. If you are in Christ Jesus, then your being, the very essence of your identity, has put you in a position where gratitude is possible. I'll level with the rest of you. If you don't know him, then your state of being is one where gratitude is impossible. True gratitude, unfettered joy, is found nowhere else but in this man.

Friends, when we read words like this from Jesus as less harsh and more compassionate, we can feel that same voice speaking to us tonight. Like, "What's it to you if he has more favor with your boss than you? What's it to you if she has the kind of life you've always wished for? What's it to you if they are in a loving dating relationship and you can't seem to find someone? What's it to you if they're more popular even though they're less godly?

What's it to you? You follow me. I'm the satisfier of life. I'm the giver of full joy. I'm the one who will leave you wanting nevermore. You follow me. Trust me, walk with me, and see the kind of joy, the fullness of life I will give you. Comparison will rob you of joy, but my compassion stands ready to offer it without end." How do we know this is all true? Because Jesus Christ has proven this is the case.

Where comparison feeds on fear, Christ's compassion has freed us from fear. When we were the enemies of God, all of us lost and gone astray in our sin, dejected from his presence and separated forevermore, Jesus said, "That is not satisfactory for me. I will do whatever it takes to get you back, to pull you close, to be reunited in right relationship with you. I will step in, and where comparison would lead you off in fear, I will lead myself to you and bring you back to me where I am."

Where comparison turns friends into rivals, Christ's compassion has turned rivals into friends. He has taken those who hated God and brought them in and made them lovers of God. He has taken the lonely and the lost and made them sons and daughters, for those who see his life and see "He has borne the full consequence of my sin. He rose from the dead so I might have life and life forevermore should I place my faith in him."

Where comparison robs you of joy, tonight, friends, Christ's compassion stands ready to offer it to you forevermore. Do you want joy? Then don't look anywhere else. Look to him, because he has been looking for you for so long. Let me pray for us.

God, we love you. I'm thankful for an evening to sit in your Word. I'm so grateful that there's not a single soul here tonight who is too far gone, who has done too much wrong, who is filled with deficiencies you, God, cannot fill through your Son. I pray, Lord… I want my friends to experience the kind of joy I know you give, not just because I can reason with it theologically or point to it experientially, but I have felt it personally.

Please, Lord, for those here who feel insufficient, inadequate, not enough as they already are, would they look to Jesus and see one who says, "You're exactly as I want you, the good, the bad, and the ugly. The most cringe-worthy parts of yourself could not keep me from you, and they will not keep me from you now." We love you, God. It's in Christ Jesus' name we pray, amen.