Understanding God's Intention for the Family of God | Colossians 3:18-21

Good morning, Watermark. How are we doing today? Good to see you. If this is your first time ever with us on a Sunday, thanks for trusting us with your morning. I hope this place feels like home very quickly. Before we jump into the message, I just want to acknowledge that tomorrow is Veterans Day. I just want to say, "Thank you" to everyone in our body who has served in our military. We're so grateful for your sacrifice for the sake of our freedom, so thank you for your service.

Today we're talking about marriage and parenting. I prepare you for that just to say we have some stuff to talk about. I want to show you some pictures I've already shown you in this series, but I think it'll be helpful. The first one is from when I was single. I show you that to say there was a time in my life I was single. You're looking at that, and you understand why. It's fine. But here's what I'll say. When I think back to who I was in this picture, I wish I could go back and give the message I'm going to give today to TA 2005.

Here's a picture from my wedding day with Kat. Yep. How did that guy get that girl? I'm president of that foundation. Many of you guys are in it. If I could go back and give this message to a young married TA, I would, because to have this message right at the beginning of marriage would have given me a better vision of what it looks like to be God's man in marriage, especially right at the start, to get off on the right foot even before having kids.

Then here's a picture of the Ateek family today. This is TA with kids. I show you this just to say I'm right here with you. I need this message today just as much as everyone in this church does. So, whether you're single, whether you're in a relationship right now and headed toward marriage, whether you're young married with no kids, or you are married with kids, this message is for you. I want to take a second and pray that God would do a great work in our lives.

Before I pray, let me just say this. Some of you guys just heard me say we're talking about marriage and parenting today, and you're like, "If I had known that, I would not be here now." Just the idea of a message in church about marriage or parenting triggered something in you. Maybe you're single and you don't want to be, so a message from your church on marriage makes you feel unseen or uncared-for by your church.

Maybe you've experienced something traumatic in marriage. Maybe you've experienced abuse or abandonment in marriage. Maybe you've gone through a traumatic divorce. Maybe you're wrestling with same-sex attraction, and you hold the biblical view of marriage that marriage is for one man and one woman. You believe that's true, yet that's difficult, so a message on marriage continues to cause that tension inside of you.

Maybe you want to be a parent, but you haven't been able to get pregnant, or maybe one of your parents failed you in a truly traumatic way. If I just described you in some way, I want you to know I see you, I love you, and I'm thankful God has you here today. I want to pray for you right now, and I want to pray for all of us.

Lord, I do just want to ask for your grace in this room this morning. God, for those whose hearts sank when they heard I'm talking about marriage or parenting, Lord, I pray that even right now you would be near to them, you would comfort them, you'd breathe joy into their lives, and that they would be encouraged today. Lord, I pray that the result of your Spirit moving through the teaching of your Word today would be healthier marriages, gospel-centered marriages, fathers and mothers who love their kids as you would have us love them, and children who walk closely with you.

Friends, I just want to invite you right now to take a second and pray for yourself. Just say, "God, would you speak clearly to me today?" Then would you pray for the people around you and say, "God, would you speak to them as well?" Then would you pray for me and just ask that God would speak clearly through me to you.

Lord, my prayer for your people here at Watermark today is that we would truly have eyes to see you, that we would have ears to hear from you, and that our hearts would be receptive to everything you want to say to us today. We love you and give this time to you. In Jesus' name, amen.

If you have a Bible, I invite you to turn with me to Colossians, chapter 3. We've been making our way through the book of Colossians. I hope you've been encouraged by it. It has been very life-giving to me to be back in a book of the Bible teaching verse by verse. God has used it in my life in a very meaningful way. Now we get to this point in the book where Paul is going to speak to husbands, to wives, to children, and to parents.

Here's what he says in Colossians 3:18-21. "Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged."

That's it. Those are the verses we're dealing with today. Now, if you notice, Paul speaks to different groups at different moments. He speaks to specific people. So I want to do the same thing today. I want to go group by group and address hopefully everyone in the room at some point today.

First, I want to talk to the people in the room who are single right now. If you're here today and you're single, let me tell you this message is for you as well, because God might call you into marriage someday, and if he does, you don't want to wait until then to begin to prepare yourself for marriage. Listen to this message now. Ask the Spirit of God to move and work in you now in preparation for the day that you might step into marriage.

If God calls you to be single, that's okay, because God might want to use you, as a single person, to speak truth into the life of a married friend. So, it's good for you to be equipped with the truth so you can speak biblically into married people's lives. You know you can do that, right? You don't have to be married to speak into someone's life who's married.

One of the most encouraging stories I've heard lately is about a young adult in our church who's a pilot. He hopped on a flight, and because he's a pilot, he gets paired with a copilot for three days at a time. He was sharing with me. He was like, "Man, you sit on a headset together for three days straight. So when you get into that cockpit and put on that communication device, you go deep pretty quickly, because what else are you going to talk about?"

So he begins to talk to his copilot. His copilot isn't a believer, and he is on the doorstep of divorce. They are about to sign papers. Here's this young adult in our church. He's not married, but he has the gospel. So, on that headset, he begins to share Jesus with this copilot, which is great, because where else is he going to go? He's locked in there. He has a captive audience. Emphasis on captive. There's nowhere else he can go.

He has dinner with him at the hotel that night and hears about what's going on in his marriage, so this young adult, who's not married, begins to challenge this married man regarding his marriage. He prays for this guy. Do you know what this guy does? He puts divorce on hold and begins to date his wife again. Why? Because God used a man who was not married but knew the truth and was empowered by the gospel to speak truth into the life of a married man.

So, if you're single here today, don't tune this out. Equip yourself so you can encourage those in your life who are married. And let me remind you this is a family. If you're single, pray for your married brothers and sisters here at this church. Pray that the marriages here would thrive. Married friends, we should pray for our single brothers and sisters, because we're a family. Sidenote: for those who are married, consider inviting single adults into your Community Group.

Sometimes intergenerational Community Groups can be a really beneficial thing, because you can learn from the perspectives of someone who is single. And do you know what you'll do by inviting that single adult into your Community Group? You will guard them from all of the different transitions that can come from being in single Community Groups where people keep getting married, so the group keeps turning over and over and over. We have to care for each other in that way here in the body of Christ.

Okay. So, that's a word to those who are single. Now a word to wives. Here's what Paul says. Verse 18: "Wives, submit to your husbands…" Oh boy. Here we go. "…as is fitting in the Lord." When we hear this verse and this idea of wives submitting to husbands, something in us recoils. We're like, "Oh man. This is the problem with the Bible: we have verses like this."

There's no problem with this verse. Do you want to know why there's no problem with this verse? Because look at the text. "Submit to your husbands as is fitting…" What are those last three words? "…in the Lord." Don't make me get the tubs out. If you don't understand being in Christ, come up to me afterward. I'm going to sit down with you, and I'm going to make you do the tubs for me. It has been long enough, people. That's all the clarification we need.

If you're married, yes, you are in a marriage union, but that marriage union is taking place in Christ. That right there cancels any conversation about this being about equality or inequality. We are in Christ together, and your position in Christ is to inform your position in marriage. To be in Christ together means you are, first and foremost, brothers and sisters in Christ.

You share equally in salvation. You have the same Spirit living inside of each one of you. You share equally in God's mission of making disciples of all nations. We share equally in the hope of eternal life. This has nothing to do with equality or inequality. We are in Christ together. So, don't see this as a statement about equality; see it as a statement about responsibility.

Don't miss what I'm telling you right now. If you're single, what I'm about to say should be a determining factor in whether you even want to get married in the future or not. The point of marriage is to point to Jesus Christ. The ultimate point of marriage is not your happiness. The ultimate point of marriage is not companionship so you always have someone to have plans with. The point of marriage is for your marriage to display Christ's love for his bride, the church, to the rest of the world.

God has given responsibilities to the husband and to the wife as to how they can both work together to best reflect Christ through marriage, so this is simply a conversation about us understanding our responsibilities in marriage so we can best reflect Christ through them. Okay? So, what is one of the ways God wants wives to reflect Christ in marriage? It's by submitting to your husband.

What does it mean to submit to your husband? To submit to your husband is to willingly recognize and respond to his leadership in your marriage. Keep tracking with me. If I just said something that bothered you, just track with me. How does that show Christ in your marriage? Well, listen to Paul's wording in 1 Corinthians 11:3. "But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God."

Do you see it? At least in this verse, Christ is in the place of the wife. If the head of Christ is God, and the head of a wife is her husband, then Christ is in the same place as the wife. See, when Christ came to earth, God the Father's role was to lead in authoring the plan of salvation, and Jesus' role was to execute God the Father's plan of salvation. So, to submit to the Father in carrying out God's plan of salvation was to recognize and respond to his leadership.

So, when you willingly respond to and respect and recognize the leadership of your husband, you are reflecting Christ in your marriage. Now, I really want husbands to hear what I'm about to say, because this was really eye-opening for me even studying for this week. It's very interesting to note that when Paul, just two verses later, speaks to children, what's the word he uses? He says, "Children, obey your parents." But when he talks to wives, what's the verb he uses? "Submit to your husbands."

Those are two different words. One is dealing with authority; the other is dealing with responsibility. Children obey their parents because they don't have a choice. You obey your parents because they are the authority in the house, but when Paul talks about wives submitting to their husbands, it's not an issue of authority; it's an issue of responsibility.

You don't do it because you don't have any other choice; you do it willingly because you recognize, "Hey, the point of our marriage is to point to Christ. God has given each of us different responsibilities as to how we can do that. The responsibility God has given my husband is to reflect Christ through leading. The responsibility God has given me is to reflect Christ through supporting that leadership."

So, you don't do it because they're the authority and you don't have any choice but to obey. That's not the word that was associated with wives. That's for children. For wives, you submit, which is a decision you make willingly because you want to support the responsibility that has been given to you and your husband in marriage.

Now here's the word to husbands. What does it mean to be the leader of a marriage? Don't miss this. Husbands, if you're tuned out, welcome back, because I'm coming for you today. The reason I can come for you is because I'm one of you. I'm speaking to me as I'm speaking to you. What does it mean to be the leader of a marriage? It is to bear the weight of accountability before God for cultivating a marriage and household that glorifies God.

Don't think authority; think responsibility. Go all the way back to Genesis 3 when God comes to Adam and Eve after they ate the fruit. Who was the first person to eat the fruit? It was Eve, but who did God come to and hold responsible? Adam. God gives us a specific responsibility in marriage. God will hold us accountable for how we cultivate our marriage and our household in a way that glorifies him and prioritizes his will.

So, how do we reflect Christ in our marriage? If wives are to reflect Christ through submitting to their husbands, husbands are to reflect Christ…how? Verse 19: "Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them." It's important to note the Greek word Paul uses for love here. He doesn't use eros, which is the word for romantic or sexual love. He uses the verb agapao, which comes from the word agape love, which is that selfless, sacrificial love whose model is Christ himself.

Paul, in the book of Ephesians, where he speaks on the same topic in a very similar way but with more detail, puts it this way: "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…" So, men, what does it look like to love your wife? It means to die for her. How are you to reflect Christ in your marriage? By laying your life down for her. It's putting her needs above your own. It's sacrificing for her so that she flourishes.

I said it this way in the summer: don't think of yourself as the chief provider and chief decision-maker; think of yourself as the chief servant in your marriage. That's what it means to love your wife. That means leaving your wife at home with the kids while you go golfing all weekend… That gets put to death. You thinking you're so important because, man, you're putting food on the table, so you need time, your time… No, that goes out the door.

Your responsibility is to lay your life down for your wife. So hear me on this, men. If you always get your way in your marriage, you're a terrible leader. If you always get your way in your marriage, you are a terrible and un-Christlike leader. Just for my own marriage, I'll say this. God is consistently reminding me that he often speaks most clearly to me through my wife. Kat is used by God to speak to me all the time. She is wise. She is godly.

When we need to make decisions for our family, Kat thinks through things really well. She often knows what our kids need emotionally in the moment more than I do. One of the things God is still growing me in that I have not arrived at yet… Hear me clearly. Kat and I were talking about this this morning. I still have room to grow, but part of being a good leader in marriage is creating an environment where your wife feels like she has a valued voice.

So, men, here's what you need to understand. No wife complains about having to follow the leadership of a man who is selfless and sacrificially serving her. Husbands, if there is a love issue, don't be surprised by a submission issue. Do you hear that? If there's a love issue, if you're struggling to lay your life down for your wife, don't be surprised if she's struggling to follow your leadership. Wives, that doesn't give you a way out. I'm just stating the obvious for the men. Marriage requires mutual sacrifice. Wives submit to husbands. Husbands lay their lives down. Both sacrifice in marriage. If you don't want to sacrifice, don't get married.

Now, husbands, Paul is not done with us. If you look at the text, he speaks to the man the most, because sometimes we need the most instruction. Guys, the second part of this verse… There's no way out of it. "Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them." Period. That's it. I don't have some fancy word salad for you in the Greek where it's like, "Well, what he's really saying here is… So you're totally fine to be harsh when…" No.

"Do not be harsh with them." Period. I've looked in my Bible, and there's no asterisk next to the word harsh that points me to a footnote where Paul caveats. "Yeah, don't be harsh except when they drop the ball. Yeah, don't be harsh unless they disagree with you, then be harsh. Don't be harsh unless you feel unappreciated. Don't be harsh unless you're sexually frustrated. Then you should totally be harsh." Don't be harsh. Period.

That's a lot at once, so how can we move forward, as brothers and sisters, husbands and wives? How can we move forward practically? Let me just tell you this. My hope for Watermark Community Church is that we would fight for our marriages and we would see no divorces in our church between now and the end of 2025.

That just made some of you super nervous, but I'm just telling you that's what I'm going to pray for, that God would do a miraculous work in the marriages in this place and that we would see zero divorces between now and the end of 2025, and when we get to the end of 2025 we're going to say, "Until the end of 2026."

So, let me encourage you to apply what I'm telling you today. How do you apply it? First, seek forgiveness. If there is any way God is convicting you of how you haven't reflected Christ in your marriage, seek forgiveness today. Ask God for the courage to go to your spouse and ask for forgiveness.

Secondly, husbands, I want to challenge you. I'm not inviting you to do anything I'm not planning to do myself. Husbands, I want to challenge you to initiate in at least one way spiritually, emotionally, and physically every day this week. I didn't say, "Once this week." I said, "Every day this week." Just to be clear, I just invited the husbands to initiate in one way spiritually, emotionally, and physically every day this week.

Now, wives, does that mean you can't initiate? Of course not. Is it okay for you to initiate sometimes? I love it when Kat is like, "Hey, will you pray for this really quick?" Do I ever snap back at her and say, "Hey, that's my job. Stop trying to lead. It's my job to tell us when we're going to pray and when we're not going to pray. Stay in your lane"? No. That's great. I love it when Kat is like, "Hey, would you pray for this really quick?"

So, you can totally initiate. If you want to give your husband a kiss on the cheek, you should do that. But, men, I'm just encouraging you. If God is going to hold us accountable for the responsibility he has given us, I want to encourage you to initiate spiritually. So, what does that mean? These are small things. Don't think I just added 30 minutes to an hour of responsibility.

No, I'm just talking, like, praying with her right before bed. "Hey, let me say a quick prayer for us." Send her a text that you're praying for her. Invite your family to share God stories. "How did you see God show up during the day?" Share a verse with the family at the table. Initiate with your spouse and with your kids in one way spiritually every day this week.

Secondly, initiate emotionally. Communicate loving truth with her. Just tell her that you love her. Share what you appreciate about her, what you admire in her, what she has done that has blessed you. If she's not a "words of affirmation" person, figure out her love language and work to speak it in a small way.

Then, initiate with her physically. Some of the guys are like, "Now you have my attention. What are we talking about here?" Here's what I'm talking about. Let me say this. In some marriages, you might have found yourself in a place where you only know two gears physically: no touch or sexual touch. If you're in that place where you only know those two gears, I want to invite you to find new gears.

What I'm talking about is maybe you hug and kiss when y'all leave or get home. Maybe you give a hug before bed or you hold hands in the car or you offer a back rub. You know what? If you have kids, it's really good for them to grow up seeing you be affectionate with one another. They're going to hate it. They'll always remember, "You know what? My parents still hugged. They still held hands." So initiate.

Then, wives, respond to their initiative. Be supportive. Ladies, I'm just going to warn you. Some of it is going to feel really clunky, because it's going to unearth some insecurity in your husbands, and they're going to feel like they're really putting themselves out there. So would you be really gracious toward them? Please don't look at them and be like, "You're just doing this because TA said you're supposed to." That will be so deflating to them.

Okay. Let's move on. Now a word to children. Watch this. If you are 18 or under in this room, I want to invite you to stand up right now. I know this feels awkward and uncomfortable. Keep standing. You're like, "I'm never coming back to this church." I just want to invite you to stand. Right now you feel like everyone is looking at you. They're not. They're looking at me, but you still feel that way. I get it. I want you to listen to this, and then I want you to let me talk to you for a moment.

Listen to what he says. He says, "Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord." That's not the verse you want to hear from your pastor today, but here's what I want you to see. I want you to think about this. This is a real letter Paul wrote to the church in Colossae. This letter was read to the entire church. So, Paul writes a message to kids, thinking that they're going to be in the service, just like you are now, and he says, "Obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord."

I want you to get this. Paul is writing to kids like they are valuable people in the family of God, and he writes in such a way that he believes you, even at a young age, might have a fire inside of you for Jesus Christ, which is amazing. So, here's what I want you to hear me say. My hope and prayer for you is that you would believe right now that Jesus Christ is worth it and you've actually been made for him.

I've used this illustration before, but I'll use it again. Think about this. Why does the iPhone exist? The iPhone exists to put the world at your fingertips. You can live as if the iPhone exists to be a $1,000 coaster. You can live as if the iPhone exists to be something you jam under the table so it's not wobbly, but it doesn't change the fact that the iPhone exists to put the world at your fingertips.

You have been made to know Jesus and to make him known. You don't need to spend the rest of high school and all of college trying to figure out why you exist. I'm telling you right now. You exist to know Jesus and to make him known. I believe God wants to use you to push back the darkness in your middle schools and in your high schools, and I believe God wants to use you to be a change agent in the city of Dallas and in the world.

There is nothing more amazing than when a few young men and a few young women believe the words of 2 Chronicles 16:9 that "The eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that he may strongly support those whose hearts are fully his." So, I want to pray for you right now, and I want to ask everyone to pray with me for the next generation.

Lord, I want to ask and pray for these young men and women standing right now. God, would you captivate their hearts in a way that only you can? Would you ignite a fire in them for you, that they would know how deeply loved they are by you, Lord Jesus, that you died for them, that you rose from the dead for them, and that you, God, want to use them in an amazing way to push back the darkness in this world. God, would you call them to yourself right now and use them for your glory? In Jesus' name, amen.

Okay. Now, for those of you who were standing, I'm still talking to you. You just stood up, and some of you might be like, "All right. Let's do this. I'm all in with Jesus." You're ready to run through a brick wall for Jesus now. Okay. Great. I'm glad I got you to that point. Now we have to deal with the actual text, which says, "Children, obey your parents in everything…" See, what you have to realize is that being all in with Jesus starts at home.

Paul is saying, "Children, obey your parents in everything…" So, as long as it doesn't disobey God's Word, the best thing you can do is obey your parents. I want to invite you to think really quickly. When is it hardest for you to obey your parents? Just identify what that is in your life. What I want you to realize is when you choose to obey your parents in the moments when it's hardest to obey them, that's when you are most like Jesus.

Here's why I say that. I want you to think about Jesus. Right before he's arrested and then crucified the next day, we find Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane, sweating blood, praying, "Father, if you're willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will but yours be done." So, when you obey your parents in the hardest moments…when you want to go somewhere but they won't let you, when you want to watch something but they won't let you, when you want to Uber somewhere by yourself because everyone else is Ubering somewhere by themselves but they say no…

In those moments when it's hardest to obey your parents, yet you ask God for help and are able to say, "I don't completely agree, I don't completely understand, but I will respect your decision," that is when you are most like Jesus, and it honors God. I just want to encourage my son Noah right now, a 15-year-old freshman. I see this in him, and I'm so proud of this in him.

There are times where I can see that what I am telling him is not what he wants. It's not the decision he wants, and I can see him taking deep breaths, taking it in, and allowing the Spirit of God to produce the fruit of self-control in him so that he responds in a way that's honoring. Then, in the times where he's still a teenager, because he is a teenager, you know what I love about him? He'll come and seek forgiveness for the times that he misses it. I love that in him, and I believe it's so pleasing to the Lord. So way to go, man.

Now, kids, here's the good news. Paul doesn't let your parents off the hook. So, parents, now I'm talking to you. Here's a word to the parents. Verse 21: "Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged." Paul uses a Greek word here that can actually refer to both parents, moms and dads, so this is for every parent in the room, but, dads, I want us to take Paul seriously where he is addressing fathers, which signifies that we have the greatest responsibility in our homes to cultivate a home that is glorifying to the Lord.

"Fathers, don't provoke your children." What does that mean? One source explained it this way. This term describes an overbearing parental manner that irritates and frustrates. Practically speaking, this involves enforcing a legalistic standard that demands perfection, creates unreasonable expectations, and constantly berates. What's the result of this type of parenting? Children become discouraged. They feel like they can never win. It cultivates a belief that they are never enough.

Let me just share from my own heart this week, because I had to prepare to teach this. These are the truths God needed me to hear this week as a father. I'll share them with you, and if they're an encouragement, great. You're going to have to sit with the Lord and figure out what he wants you to know, but this is what God wanted me to know this week.

First, my kids are sinners just like me. I should never be surprised when my kids sin, and I shouldn't take it so personally when they aren't perfect. The good news is sin in my house gives me an opportunity to help my kids understand their need for Jesus, and it gives me an opportunity to help them grow in their understanding of repentance and experiencing God's grace.

Secondly, I need to consistently be a student of my kids, which means I will probably parent each kid differently. I have a responsibility to especially be in tune with what can discourage each kid. I remember when my kids were younger. One of my kids… If we punished him, it really bothered him. The other kid… It was like you couldn't get through to him. He was like a brick wall. It didn't matter what the punishment was. He was like, "Okay." It was like, "Argh! I want you to care."

Do you know what the issue was? I wasn't in tune with what he needed. Now I know there are certain things I can say to one kid that would so discourage him. There's another kid that I know if I say certain things, it's not going to lead to repentance; it's going to lead to anxiety. That has required me to be a student of my kids, and I need to grow in that.

Next, celebration must balance out correction. If my kids are only hearing what they're doing wrong, then I am in the wrong. Celebration must balance out correction. Here's what I am encouraging myself to do: to catch my kids succeeding at small things. Sometimes we don't want to affirm the things they're supposed to be doing anyway, but you know what? When we affirm the things they're supposed to be doing, they'll keep doing them.

It's okay to say, "Man, I'm so proud of you for the way you were selfless with your brother. That was really great. I think Jesus is honored by that." We know they should be that way anyway, but we should celebrate that. "Man, I'm so proud of you for cleaning up your mess. Way to go. You're being an important member of this household when you help keep clean the place God has provided for us."

Next, my kids can't be on the hook for my insecurities. There are times when I've parented my kids in public in a way that was for fear of what other people would think of me, and that's sin. My kids can't be on the hook for my insecurities. Let me just say this. A Christian should never be an embarrassment in the stands at their kid's sports game. Never. That's your insecurity coming out, and your kid is a victim of it, because you're trying to live vicariously through your kid. When you berate your kid in public for their lack of performance, that's sin. You're putting your kid on the hook for your insecurity.

Next, I need to say yes to God's will for my kids' lives just as much as they do. This past week, we were talking about the nations, the people in the world who have yet to hear the gospel. When I was praying, we talked about how maybe God would want to call one of our kids to take the gospel to the nations. Part of me was like, "Do I really want that?" If God calls them, absolutely.

One of the best things I can do is show my kids how to ask for forgiveness. Like, when I miss it, own it. One of my pastor friends has told me more than once, when we've been talking about parenting, "Hey, just start saving for your kids' counseling from now." Why? Because there are no perfect parents. You're going to get it wrong sometimes in really significant ways. Mom guilt is a real thing. Dad guilt is a real thing.

You can't change the past, but you can seek forgiveness for it. It's okay to tell your kids you got it wrong, and today is the best day to start parenting in a way that's more glorifying to the Lord. This happened just this past week. When my oldest son Noah was the youngest… I mean, the first kid always gets the worst experience because all of the parents' fears come out on that child.

When Noah was really young, the movie Minions came out, and I was like, "These Minions will destroy my kid's life. They will be such a bad influence on him." Noah was so young. Someone had given him these little Minions figurines, and I gathered them all up, put them in a tub, and put them in my closet. Now we've been watching all of the Despicable Me movies, and I'm sitting on the couch, laughing. I'm like, "Man, these are great."

So with Noah last week… He was like, "Whatever happened to those figurines?" I totally trashed them, because I was like, "Man, these things will corrupt my child." I just told Noah, "Yeah, I got that one wrong, man. I totally got it wrong. It's on me. My bad." It's okay, but at least you acknowledge it. (Don't email me if you're against Minions.)

So, what do we do with this message? I need to move really quickly, but this is going to be really important. First, no matter whether you're single, in a relationship, married, or married with kids, the best thing you can do is apply everything else that came in Colossians prior to talking about marriage and parenting.

Do you want to see a lot of change in your singleness, in your dating relationship, in your parenting, or in your marriage? Then just watch what happens when Christ takes first place in your life, when you find fulfillment in him instead of in your spouse, when you look to Christ for your ultimate fulfillment. Just watch what happens when you live out of your true identity, when you put sexual sin and sin of speech to death. Just watch what happens. It'll transform.

The second thing is this. I'm going to do something I've literally never done in my however many years I've been in ministry. I am going to stop a series and start a new one in the middle of a message. We still have more weeks in Colossians, but our A Maturing Church series is coming to an end, and right in this moment we are now in A Community Church series. Okay? There it is. Welcome to the new series.

The reason we're making this shift and, for the next few weeks, as we finish out Colossians, we're going to emphasize community is because community is in our middle name. People have been like, "Are we losing our value of community?" Have we changed our name? Then no. We have always been a church committed to being fully known and fully loved, and we want to do community in a very meaningful, intentional, and radical way.

So, the reason I'm making this shift right now is I want to encourage you. One of the best things you can do is apply this message in community. If you're single, you need community. I know, for me, when I was single, I had to wrestle through the idolatry I placed on marriage. It's battling this tension of having a genuine longing for that relationship, which is not sinful, versus this false-rooted belief that marriage will solve all of your problems. So we need each other in community to help process that.

If you're dating, date in community. You need community coming around you, sharpening you, challenging you. Go through Merge. You don't want to stand on the altar without many people having seen your relationship and given you the thumbs up, saying, "We think this is good." The last thing you want to do is step into marriage with a bunch of people like, "I don't know, man. I hope for the best for them."

If you're married, I want to invite you this week to share honestly with your group about how your marriage is doing. Go around your group and even rate your marriage in front of your Community Group. Maybe your entire Community Group needs to make a decision to go to re|engage together. We can put you at a table together. You can go through re|engage as a group together.

Maybe you read a book on marriage together as a group. Maybe you invite an older married couple that you admire to come share with your group. Bring big decisions in your marriage to your Community Group. Pray over each other's marriages. Your Community Group might even help you discern that your marriage is at the point that you need some help from one of our Community Group directors or even some professional help from a Christian counselor.

Then, when it comes to parenting, maybe your Community Group needs to go through Parenting on Point together or maybe the men in your Community Group need to go through DadU together. Maybe you bring issues and decisions regarding your kids to your Community Group. I want to encourage you to pray by name for each other's kids.

Maybe you're sitting there saying, "I'm not a member. I'm not in community." I want to encourage you to take that Watermark News you were handed. You can tear off that perforated section, fill it out, and turn it in at the Welcome Center. We'd love to help you take your next step.

The best thing you can do for your marriage, for your kids, and for your relationships is to walk with Jesus. If you're here today and you don't have a relationship with Jesus Christ, that's where it starts. In the Scriptures, Jesus Christ is looked at as the groom, and the people of God are considered the bride.

The earthly relationships we have in marriage are just a mere dim shadow of the relationship Christ wants with us, a real, enjoyable, intimate relationship with him. If you don't know him and the power of the forgiveness that comes through his death, burial, and resurrection, I want to invite you right now to receive salvation through Christ. Let's pray.

If that's you, I want to invite you right now to pray and say, "Lord Jesus, would you come into my life this morning?" Just say, "Jesus, thank you that you died on the cross for me. Thank you that you rose from the dead for me. Would you come into my life today? Would you forgive me of all of my sins, and would you begin to lead me in a new life?"

For everyone else in the room, as we sing right now, I want to encourage you. Don't rush out the door. This is a moment to do business with the Lord. Maybe you need to just sit and ask God to show you where you need to seek forgiveness, and then ask God to give you the courage to be the man or the woman he has called you to be solely by the grace of God.

Lord, we need you. We love you. Would you strengthen us this week to be all you've called us to be solely by the power of your Spirit? In Jesus' name, amen.