“In 2013, I started dating a man named Blair, who was attending Watermark. Early on, he asked me if I was a Christian, and I said ‘yes.’ But as I look back, I realize I didn’t know what it meant to identify as a Christian. I didn’t understand the significance, and I didn’t think it mattered much. It just seemed like the right thing to say.
“As we dated, I would come to church with him every Sunday, and I was just going through the motions. I wasn’t really engaged, I thought, ‘This is what we do on Sundays.’
“Blair and I were engaged for a year, but throughout that time, I didn’t feel at peace about marrying him. For the first time in my life, I asked God for guidance. I wanted a clear sign to marry Blair or not, but that sign never came, so I made the difficult decision to end the relationship.
“After the breakup, a friend introduced me to someone who had recently gone through a similar experience. We met at a coffee shop, and in our conversation, she asked me a seemingly simple question, ‘Do you have a faith?’
“I didn’t understand the point of her question. We started talking about God and things I’d never even thought about before. She shared the message of the gospel with me—that God sent Jesus to earth to live a perfect and sinless life, die on the cross, and then be raised again for our salvation, offering forgiveness for our sins, and the hope of eternal life with him, if we believe and place our trust in him.
“I was uncertain but intrigued. This began a season of questioning and exploring. Now that I was single, my time was filled with learning and regular meetings with my two Christian friends. They recommended I attend Great Questions, a weekly ministry at Watermark where anyone can inquire about God and Christianity. I found myself there every single Monday for over a year. I went so often that the facilitators would kindly ask me to wait before asking my questions so others would have a chance to speak.
“One of the leaders suggested I read the Bible, starting with the book of John. This was the first time I’d read anything from the Bible, and it felt like it was written just for me.
“I also began attending equipping courses like Equipped Disciple and meeting with church members who helped me understand more. I was surrounded by a community that cared about my spiritual growth and was committed to answering my questions.
“But my questions began to exhaust me. The facts felt endless, but I couldn’t understand why I didn’t just believe everything I was learning. I had so much evidence and information, but there was something inside of me that wasn’t ready to trust Jesus with my life. I was so frustrated, so I began praying and asking God to help me overcome my doubts.
“At this point, a trusted friend asked me a very simple yet insightful question: ‘Are you a perfectionist?’ She explained that if I was waiting to understand Jesus perfectly before trusting in Him, I’d never reach that point. I could never understand all of God perfectly.
“That was a turning point for me. I was striving for perfection in understanding when what I needed was trust. I didn’t have to know everything. If I trusted in Christ, his Spirit would guide me and continue to teach me through his Word (Romans 8:9; 2 Timothy 3:16-17). I decided to stop doubting and surrender my life to him. And from that day on, my faith continued to grow and transform my life.
“After a period of spiritual growth, Blair and I reconnected and eventually got married. Looking back, I see how God used that time apart to help me build a solid foundation in my faith before we started dating again. God answered the prayers I prayed even before trusting him. He allowed me to have no other distractions so I could come to know and trust him as my Savior.
“My relationship with God isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about trusting him, even when I don’t understand everything. God’s goodness and perfection are clear in the way he has worked in my life, especially through challenging seasons and suffering.
“I still have questions. I still seek to understand more about God and the Bible, and I continue to find opportunities to ask questions through my community group and in Women’s Bible Study.
“Christmas is so much more to me now that I am a believer. It’s not just a holiday—it’s a reminder that Jesus, the Son of God, was born to fulfill God’s promises and offer us salvation through his death and resurrection. This has become the foundation of my life, and I’m grateful for the way God has revealed himself to me and transformed my heart.”
